Why?

Somewhere along this journey of blogging about my disease, someone who suffers from vulvar pain asked me why I finally decided to reveal my secret and really the answer is simple for me.

I pondered all the parts of my life that I have revealed to family, friends and strangers and this one area was one that I had never dreamed of telling anyone other than the people who were close to me. But, this disease, regardless of how much I hated it and wished it was not part of me, has shaped me. My view of myself has changed because of it-I am irreparable. I felt so alone and wanted to just show everyone all the ugliness (at least that is how I perceived it) and have them tell me that maybe it wasn't so ugly after all.

After doing this blog, I have realized that perhaps this part of me is not ugly at all. Not as shameful as I once thought it to be, but rather, in a way, the most important part of me and to lose it would be to lose myself. It has pushed me, broken me and made me really look at life. I am a changed person because of it.

This disease has made me even more aware of other people who suffer, made me stronger because I have to get out of bed each day and face the world despite being in chronic pain and most importantly set an example to my kids that whatever life throws you, you cannot give up. Sure, you will have times when you breakdown and cry, want to give up and think you can't take it anymore, but life is made up of many challenges. For some people theirs are short lived and for others they suffer until they die. I suppose it's how you carry yourself during the journey that matters. How you decide to live rather than not to live. I want to be remembered for my strengths, giving nature, charity, personality and my impact on other people's lives, rather than my disease.

It is daunting to think that I will probably suffer with this my whole life, but I have learned that if I approach one day at a time, remind myself that it could be so much worse and surround myself with positive people, I will survive with  my sanity intact.

A true friend or loved one will stick by me despite my challenges and will be okay talking to me about it, rather than pretending it's not there. Some people are just not ready to hear about the reality of other people's lives and I shouldn't have to live locked within the walls of a secret because of their insecurities. ~S

Splendid Saturday!!!!!!!!!!

Why is it a Splendid Saturday you ask?! For lots of reasons!

• Matt cleaned the house and wood floor for me when I was volunteering at RMHC, then made dinner and gave me a foot massage. I was exhausted from volunteering then coming straight home to grade for three hours.
• I got all my birthday (for Maddie) and Easter shopping done.
• I finished up my grading for the week
• My cold is finally gone (including my cough...for the most part)
• I got an unexpected $356 which I am going to use for clothes shopping and Father's Day
• My parents are coming in exactly 5 days
• I got to put together Easter baskets for the families at RMHC-so fun :)
• My training for teaching online classes is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Matt got Easter off work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited for Easter.  Originally, Matt had to work so we were trying to figure out when exactly the Easter Bunny would be visiting our house. Our only option to do the egg hunt was on Friday-meaning the kids would be missing school. Matt has Wed-Friday off which means that if a holiday falls on his days off, he gets it off-which is not the case with Easter. So he requested it off and got it! In the past, we have always tried to bid for his days off to be ones that won't interfere with holidays. We have always been able to work it out though. His work is awesome. The last two times he was scheduled to work on Christmas, they sent him home :)

My parents are spending Easter with us and then leaving right before Maddie's 6th birthday. Can you believe she is almost 6?! Where does the time go? She is having a party and sleepover with three of her closest friends. I am very excited to celebrate it with her.

Hope you all have a great weekend! ~S

Yet Another Weekly Quote!

"I am always doing things I can't do-that's how I get to do them." -Pablo Picasso

Charity

"Nothing you do makes much of a difference if you do not have charity. You can speak with tongues, have the gift of prophecy, understand all mysteries, and possess all knowledge; even if you have the faith to move mountains, without charity it won't profit you at all....Joseph B. Wirthlin

Tuesday night I went downtown to a celebration for the volunteers of the Ronald McDonald House. I met a ton of giving, selfless, loving people, ate wonderful food and heard an inspiring story. A speaker read a few pages from a book called, The Three Questions by Jon J. Muth.

The three questions are:

1.  When is the best time to do things?
2.  Who is the most important one?
3.  What is the right thing to do?

Such profound questions. The book states that the best time to do things is: Right Now, the most important one is: Who You Are With and the right thing to do is: Do Good for the One Who is Standing by Your Side.

I had a daughter that was born with health issues and was in the NICU which resulted in my husband and I going home from the hospital without her. It was devastating. I cannot imagine having my child stay in the hospital long term and living away from home like in the Ronald McDonald House just to be able to see my child. When I decided to start volunteering at RMHC I wanted to network, meet new people and get out of the house. I was having a hard time finding a job after finishing graduate school and was feeling down. Going to the house made me humble-to put it mildly.

I am currently busy balancing work, family, volunteering at multiple places and life in general. However, each week when I walk into the house to serve families and do a small part in making the house run, I know that the right time to give is now-despite how busy I am. I asked many friends to volunteer with me (it's only 6 hours a month) and no one would-everyone is too busy. Finally, one of my friends took me up on the offer and I am excited to hang out with her twice a month. We get to do it together, so it will be a great time to catch up, chat and giggle.

I have learned that there will never be a perfect time to do anything-sometimes you just have to jump in without testing the water. It is proven that people that volunteer live longer, happier lives. Meeting people who have volunteered for 10+ years at the house was so inspiring. I plan on staying a volunteer there for a very long time. 

I walked away from that celebration with new incites. I am going to try to remember the three questions and live by them. I will focus on and give all my attention to the person I happen to be with (a colleague, friend, family member, person at RMHC) and always do right by the ones who walk beside me in life. It is so hard to not let life take over. So often I am doing the dishes, the TV is on, I'm going over to-do lists in my head, all while trying to focus on what one of my kids is saying. Sometimes it is better just to take a breath, slow down and really listen. Live. In. The. Moment.

I hope at some point in your lives you will all have the experience of volunteering. I have done volunteer/charity work within my church and for some reason when you go outside the box and volunteer in the community, it is much different.

After our kids are grown, my husband and I plan on volunteering abroad or for disaster relief. I am so excited for what that chapter in life will bring! ~S

New Eating Plan!!!!!

As some of you may know, LS is thought to be an auto-immune disease. Because of this, I am going to try an auto-immune diet for thirty days to see if I feel any better, and have less itching. I'm starting today!!!!!

In the last six weeks I've had two sinus infections, bronchitis, a huge cold sore outbreak and staph infection.  Because of this, I have been on antibiotics for almost a month-not good.

During the thirty day diet, I will log what foods made my mouth itch or seemed to cause more itching in direct relation to the LS. I already know I have some food allergies from when I was tested as a teen, but can't remember all of them. The most obvious are melons, raw peas and bananas. When I eat these, my mouth and throat itches like crazy-but I still eat them...probably not the best thing to do when your body is sending out signals. Doh.

While this diet will not cure my LS, it may lessen the symptoms, which sounds good to me! After much research, there seems to be many diets, opinions and so forth. My conclusion is, that every diet should be tailored for each individual and obviously mine will change once I get tested for food allergies. With that said, here is my 30 day game plan that I will strictly follow:

Good Foods

• Red Meat-A high-protein diet boosts healthy antioxidant levels, while low-protein diets induce oxidative stress.
• Meat, Fish & Fowl-beef, lamb, pork, fish, seafood, fowl, and wild game
• Eggs
• Coconut Oil
• Vegetables-Well-done, boiled, or steamed asparagus, eggplant, green or yellow string beans, red tomatoes, spinach, celery, peppers, or green or yellow zucchini squash. Raw vegetables are sometimes not tolerated by the digestive system because of the fiber. Cooking reduces the fiber content. I have noticed that some vegetables give me an adverse reaction such as cramps, pains, or intestinal gas (broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts I am talking about you!), so I will be avoiding them.
• Coffee & Tea-Coffee is fine, but not decaf. Toxic chemicals are used to remove the caffeine. Peppermint tea is recommended.
• Nuts & Seeds-Only hazelnuts, macadamia nuts, and pine nuts because they have the lowest amount of omega-6 fats.

Forbidden Foods :(  LOL!

• Yeast, vinegar, mushrooms, cheese, and fermented products because candida yeast infections can be difficult to detect but may be present and these foods will not help!
• Sugar, sweets and honey (you can't hear me, but I am crying-Ha!)
• Alcohol
• Processed Meat
• Fruit & Fruit Juices-Fruit promotes the growth of pathogenic intestinal bacteria, candida yeast, and fungi....or so my research tells me. Please correct me if I am wrong!
• Starchy Vegetables-potatoes, yams, turnips, beets, radishes, carrots, pumpkin and winter squash.
• Trans Fats
• Omega-6 Fatty Acids-polyunsaturated vegetable, seed, or grain oils made from corn, soybean, canola, safflower, sunflower, cottonseed, almond, apricot, grapeseed, peanut, poppyseed, rice bran, sesame, teaseed, tomato seed, walnut, and wheat germ.
• Milk
• Processed Foods
• Wheat or other grains
• Carbohydrates
• MSG
• Anything labeled "Low-Fat"
• Fast Food-Obviously!!!!

 Wow! I don't know about you, but the forbidden list has a ton of stuff I am accustomed to eating. Who knows, I may even lose some weight while on this diet :) I will keep you posted with a weekly update. Please let me know if you have any comments on anything I listed above. I would love to hear your opinions, what research you have done, foods you avoid and so forth.

Hope you all have a great week! Tomorrow starts the last week in my online teacher training! Woo Hoo! ~S