Tattoo!!!!

Now that you have picked your jaw up off the floor, let me explain.

First, this is NOT my first tattoo, and second (don't worry mom) I thought long and hard (three years to be exact) to make sure I indeed wanted this on my body.

The other one I have, I got over 15 years ago, and no, I do not regret it-not for a second.

The most common question people ask is why that one?

So, let me tell you. When I was born, I had some health issues. I had seizures and learning disabilities. Shocker, I know. LOL. Anyway, my parents were told that I would never make it past 1st grade.

Despite all my struggles (and believe me, there were a ton!) I not only made it past 1st grade, I also made it past high school, my BA and my MBA. I even had top honors in college.

I wanted a tattoo to symbolize my many, many years in school and remind myself how hard I have worked to achieve my degrees. Especially since I got both while raising small kids. So, what better than a symbol of it. I think it is awesome. It says in Latin, "The Wise of Heart Seek Knowledge."

Graduating twice from college was one of the most proudest moments of my life. Indescribable. I never want to forget it. Like my other tattoo, this one is pretty much hidden (it's on the back of my neck) and I can choose when it is seen. I am not the type to "show off" my tattoos, so maybe if we chance to meet, you may catch a glimpse of it.

Oh, and did I mention Matt got a second one too? The artist (and yes, he is an artist. This guy is amazing. He is booked months out, is very expensive and travels to Europe to tattoo) only had time to do Matt's outline, as his is freakin huge-it covers his upper back and shoulders.

And YES, it hurt, but not bad at all. I can actually compare it to the pain I have with my fissures from LS. Here is a glimpse of mine getting colored.~S

Bedside Drawer

I saw this post on another blog and thought it would be fun. So here it goes....

What's in Your Bedside Drawer?

-Four Pill Bottles
-Two Hair Scrunchies
-Q-tips
-Cards/Random Papers
-Baggie of Flash Cards (Never know when you might have to quiz your kid. LOL)
-Ponds Cold Cream
-Roc Eye Cream
-Acne Cream
-Olay Regenerist Lotion (Wow, these four make it look like I really take care of my skin! Ha)
-Pens
-Check Register (Never know when you might have to balance your checkbook!?)
-Leopard Print Cell Phone Case (I swear it's Matt's!)
-Altoids
-Lip Gloss
-Bengay (Again, Matt's!)
-Candy Wrapper (yep, indeed this is mine)
-Make-up Mirror (for putting on that acne cream..LOL)
-Clinique Eye Shadow
-Blush Brush
-Nail File
-Sticky Hand (the kids toy that you hold on to and throw and the hand sticks..?)
-Bobby Pins
-Girls' Hair Clips

Geesh! Time to clean out this drawer! Oh, and by the way, those who are looking REALLY close, yes, that is a naked man's chest next to the Q-tips. LOL. ~S

Count.Down!

Guess what?! Remember a few months back when I said I had a surprise in a couple of months?  An early birthday present sorta speak-well it is on THURSDAY!!!!!

I am a little nervous and a little excited. What is it you ask? Well, you will just have to read my blog on Thursday evening :). Ahhhhhhh!

I will give you a hint: The last time I had/did this was 15 years ago. Anyone? Anyone? Hehe :)

Happy Monday! ~S

360

Well, work has done a complete 360. I went to work on Friday and was informed that if I pick-up work at ten, it has to be returned and filed by ten (24 hours later). Goodbye flexible schedule.

Remember how I was worried about NOT getting enough work? Well that is no longer a problem. Now I am worried about too much work and their expectations on when I can get it done.

Friday I took home over 98 pages to edit. For this job (because we have to go through huge files) that is over 14 hours. On Monday, it will take me at least 6-7 hours to file them. That means I have to leave here no later than 6am to get done before Matt goes to work.

I am scared of how much work they expect me to take home Monday and return Tuesday. Yikes. Time to look for another job?!

This is what I will be doing All.Day.Tomorrow. ~S

Change

This week was rough. I had a great boss. In fact, she was my first boss since I graduated from Marylhurst.

I liked her from the start. In my interview, she made me laugh and I felt a connection right away. After I started working for her, the laughing continued. When I screwed up, she did not belittle me or make me feel dumb, but rather made me laugh at my mistake and realize that maybe I was just having a bad day.

I felt like I could talk to her about anything. She just had that type of personality. For freelance, she always made sure I had all the work I wanted and was considerate enough to text me when there was nothing to pick up so I didn't waste my time coming to the office. She stood up for us freelancers and was not afraid to do the same for herself. I admired her.

I could set my own hours, days and how much work I took. I could text her late at night (if I was at the office) or any time of day if I had questions or just wanted to complain. Hehe.

Last week, she got laid off. Everything has changed. My new boss has no clue what he is doing, as is the typical story around the office, no one else does either. So, I, along with other freelancers are not getting work, are driving in for no reason and when we do get work, it is extremely minimal. I am hoping that eventually they will get there shit (sorry) together and things will go back to some consistency. If not, I will have to quit.

The part I am really upset about is they are trying to dictate when I come in. That is NOT freelance. Freelance work means you set the days you work, how much you work and what time you work. I was told today that I needed to come in each and every day! Argggg. Why? There is no work!

I miss my old boss :(. I hope that I will not have to look for another job, as this one was really working out for my family. Pray that things calm down and all is well in the land of Sherrie :/. ~S

Daughters in My Kingdom

Today was both emotional and amazing.

I went visit teaching earlier today (I go to the homes of two women, share a message, check on them and visit) and then was invited to go to an event at my church (LDS) for women.

Because I am not active in church, I either do not know about these events or I don't want to go alone, so I don't go. But, tonight (after years of me not attending one) for some reason I felt the need to go, especially after my friend said she was going. The great thing about having an older son, he can babysit at a moments notice. So, I literally dished the kids up their food and was out the door.

I am so glad I went. We ate some great food, got to know one another and then watched a presentation on "Daughters in My Kingdom." Basically, the message was that no matter how small or insignificant we think we may be, we can impact our sisters here on Earth, strengthen families, help those in need and create change. Sometimes the smallest action can make the biggest impact on some one's life.

It brought me to tears. This is why I love our church. Our motto "Charity never Faileth" holds true to my heart. It is the foundation of my soul and I try to practice it in my everyday life. You have to discover your own personal revelation in order to serve others and each time I do serve my sisters, it brings me great joy. It is my way of showing my love for them.

I got to thinking about all the various friends I have, and I did not realize until tonight, that most of them I met from a fellow sister in my church, through visit teaching and through my own desire to serve others (bringing a neighbor a pie to introduce myself, inviting a neighbor to our Easter Egg Hunt, etc.).

What an important message I have to teach my girls. To be a daughter in His kingdom. To reach out to women in the community, friends and complete strangers. To reach out on a personal level, to show that there is still good in the world and to feel connected to the greater good.

Tonight, for the first time in years, I felt a sisterhood to a room full of mostly strangers, a love and appreciation that God blessed me with the desire to serve others, and a gratitude for the women in the room that have walked into my life when at times I felt so very alone.

I encourage all of you who read this blog to do one act of charity tomorrow. Give a friend you have not spoken to a call, drop goodies off at a friend's doorstep, send a card, help someone in need or simply open the door for a complete stranger. Each of these acts, no matter how small leaves an impression, not only on the other person, but on your soul.

I will leave you with a quote....“Charity is a virtue of the heart, and not of the hands.”
~S

Ten Things I Currently & May Never Understand

1.  Karaoke
2.  Fanny Packs
3.  Mullets
4.  Smoking
5.  Mash (ya know, the TV show)
6.  Gambling
7.  Burger King (ewwww)
8.  Toddlers & Tiaras or any show like it
9.  Ear Plugs (the earring gauges to stretch out the ear lobe)
10.  The Goodwill by my house (you pay by the weight)

Just sayin.....~S

ER's & New Cars

Wow. What can I say, yesterday was a Crazy day!

After two days of trying to secure the price we wanted on a new vehicle (with a sick kid in tow), and a week of haggling with three dealerships, I can finally say that we have a new vehicle. I can also confidently say that I am not a fan of OHSU Doernbecher verses St. V's ER.

Yesterday, while trying to sign the papers on our new vehicle, my daughter once again spiked a fever, had a sore throat, was going to barf and had a severe headache. Long story short, I signed the papers and got home to take care of her. Matt drove our new SUV home and we all went for a ride.

Later that night, after our daughter was screaming in pain (keep in mind this is day two of this and nine days after she got strep throat), I decided to call a nurse for advice.

I was told to go to the ER that night AND that OHSU would be better for our daughter. Well, we ended up at the ER from 9-3:30 in the morning. The bad news-when we got there, they had no rooms available, lots of people waiting that resulted in us waiting a very.long.time. The good news-she did not have what they thought....Meningitis. Thank you Lord!

This mama is tired today to say the least. I am sick of sick kids, sick of the rain and ready for a vacation. But, I am in LOVE with our new vehicle and grateful that I have two jobs that allow us to have such a nice car.

I have to admit that I feel a little dumb as I have no clue how to operate most of the controls in it though. This coming from a person who drove a 1997 Accord for the last 7+ years. I am not used to: Bluetooth capabilities, heated seats, tri-zone temperature control (I so love this as I am always freezing and Matt is always hot), rear view camera, tailgate that closes on its own and leather (to name a few)!

I put up with so much stuff with the Honda Accord we used to have (windows that would not roll down, doors that could not open due to broken handles and a front end that shook when using the brakes).

We got our Pilot brand new, and with all the extras. The only thing I did not want was a DVD player. Crazy to some of you, but I am not a fan and honestly think it is ridiculous that kids need a television screen to keep them entertained while driving. The only time I think it is okay is on a long car trip. For us, we have many places in the vehicle that we can plug in a portable DVD (that we already have) and our kids can watch a movie. This will actually work better for us as our kids ages differ and I'm convinced my son would not want to watch the same thing as my daughters :).

I have always been against spending 30k+ on a vehicle, but we needed reliability, at least eight seats, warranty, a Honda engine that we know lasts and lasts, and a car that we can actually drive places without stressing out that it will break-down. Matt & I both work hard and we decided (as we are both in our mid-thirties) that it was time to have a nice car. And boy do I LOVE it! It makes working all that more enjoyable and rewarding.

This coming from a person that for the last few weeks, had to drive with the windows down and the air on in our old car so the hole in the exhaust would not put emissions into the interior of the car. LOL. ~S

Goodbye

We bought this car over seven years ago from my brother. It has been a great car.

We have driven many miles. It has been with us to various different states, camping trips, the beach and carried precious cargo. Both my girls road home from the hospital in it and all these years it has packed around all three of my kids.

But, it was time to say goodbye. The kids are older and we have decided to get a Honda Pilot.

I am still shocked how fast it sold. Within five minutes of posting it on Craigslist, the phone was ringing off the hook. It sold to the first person to look at it.

Goodbye Accord. I will miss you. ~S

Get-a-Way

I have been so stressed with life in general this week (especially my freelance job as there has been quite a bit of drama), so to deal with it, I close my eyes and imagine I am here. I am either sitting in a hot tub with a beverage or cuddled up next to a fire inside with a great book. My husband is out snow shoeing and the kids are upstairs spying on me and giggling. I wish..............

I so need a vacation. Can you tell? And yes, this is just some random picture I found on the internet. ~S

Hurting

It is no surprise to those who are close to me, that I have two parents that struggle with disease. My dad has Parkinson's and is at the stage where he needs constant supervision due to falling, choking and overall help.

My mom has a mental disorder. Without going into too much detail, as I am not really in the mood to talk about it, I have to say that dealing with these issues is at times draining, heartbreaking, devastating and exhausting.

Often, I get calls from my little brother (who lives close to them) and we have to work out how to deal with issues that arise.

This week, my mom was the one who needed help. Long story short, she went to the ER, has to go before a judge and may get committed to the state hospital for up to 120 days. Because of this, my dad will have to go to each of our houses for up to a month and live.

Those who have parents with mental illnesses know these things:
~You cannot cure a mental disorder.
~Mental disorders affect more than the person who is ill.
~You have to constantly revise your expectations of the person and their role in your life.
~You have to constantly renegotiate your emotional relationship with the person.
~You and your siblings have to have constant courage to deal with the disorder.
~People don't realize that you experience grief about what you have lost and what you will never have.
~It takes years to go through all of the stages of denial, sadness, anger and finally acceptance. Once acceptance happens, comes compassion (this is where I am at).
~You can't shoulder the whole responsibility yourself and the needs of the ill person cannot always come first.

I cannot tell you what life has been like for me with two ill parents. Sometimes, I cannot hardly believe it myself. Some days, it takes all of my strength to even get out of bed. Life is so rough. It is hard not to get overwhelmed with my own disease, dealing with sick kids (strep) this week, work, finances, and life in general.

I went through many years of anger and resentment over what I don't have, what I went through and still go through. My mom talks to voices that torment her constantly. How do I, or anyone for that matter, understand that? They tell her she is going to die and say horrible things to her.

It is easy to judge from the outside, but until you actually experience it in your own family, you cannot even come close to understanding.

Your mom is nothing like my mom and my view of a mom and what that entails has to change constantly or else it just hurts too much. Today, I am hurting. Hurting for my kids that they won't know her without the voices and illness, for my dad who has to bear the mental disorder daily and the wife it has taken away from him, for my brothers who are going through the same thing as me, for her sisters and family who have lost a sister and daughter that they once knew and for me, because daily I realize that I am never not mourning for the mom I wish I had, know I will never have and want so badly.

Sometimes when I call her, I get a teasing bit of a conversation that reminds me of the old days, but then I hear the confusion, distraction and silence in her voice and I know she is distracted by the voices.

I love you mom. I am so sorry that you have this awful burden to bear. ~S
 

It's Done!

I picked up my wedding band today. The jeweler did a fantastic job setting the new diamond and polishing it. I went with a radiant cut center diamond. I could not be happier. It is so sparkly! I can't stop looking at it :) Happy, happy day. Cheers to almost 13 years of marriage. ~S

Monday Recap

A ton has gone on in the last week. So here is a recap...

1.  Our Honda Accord is on it's last leg. Right now, we have to drive with the air circulation on (to take air out and bring fresh air in) which makes the car fog up and I can't see. Then when we are at a stop light, we have to pray it cycles quickly so we are not breathing in nasty fumes. Why? Because our oxygen sensor on the exhaust is not working (long story), will be costly to replace (again, long story) and we temporarily glued one on to pass emissions (again, long story) and is now burning off (the glue) and sending fumes into our car.This is not the only issue. We also have: a cracked and shredded CV boot, leaking transmission and oil fluid and warped rotors. The car is not worth the cost to repair it, so, we have decided, after much thought, to get a Honda Pilot through Costco's Auto Program. I can't wait.

2.  I asked for, and got a raise at my editing job. My manager told me to ask for a certain amount, but, I ended up asking the boss for more and he approved it! Hurray. I also just asked to take on another class at the University. It will basically double my pay-keep your fingers crossed!

3. I have not started painting the girls' room as we have been dealing with all this car drama, had sleepovers on the weekend and Maddie started barfing last night. Seriously, she is sick again?!

4.  I am getting rid of the girls' bunk bed and putting a trundle bed in their room. They sleep together and always have, but I want the trundle in case one night they change their mind :).

5.  We have decided that instead of going to Zions and Bryce Canyon while on vacation in Utah this summer, we will instead head over to Colorado to see Matt's dad. We have never seen their house and since it is only five hours from Utah, why not?

6.  I got free tickets to a comedy show this weekend! Score! Will be nice to have a date night :). Hopefully, no one else will get sick so we can actually go.

7. I am hoping for a call early this week that my wedding ring is done. Can you say anxious?!

8. We are also pondering getting rid of cable (Comcast) and getting Hulu or a Roku. But, I need to research if I will still be able to watch certain shows. I hate paying for cable.

9. I have a meeting this week to take on a temporary job editing a dissertation for a friend that is getting his Ph.D. I know, I am crazy to take on yet another job.

Hope you all have a good week!  Here is a silly pic of Ash. Love that girl! ~S

DIY Project

When we first bought our house, I did my girls' room in green with one wall striped (white, green & pink). Fast forward five years and now they do not like it. Maddie wants a "teenage" room and Ash wants anything other than pink. LOL.

I took them to Home Depot and had them each pick out a few colors (without me swaying them). Ash picked out a blue, chocolate brown and yellow. Maddie picked out an army green, beige and taupe. We went home and taped them to their wall so they could decide.

They ended up choosing a chocolate brown and taupe that look beautiful together. So a few days ago I started taking down all the things (clock, Pottery Barn decorations, etc.) that will no longer match their room. In all reality, I can change a few things to match so the only thing we are getting rid of is their clock. No biggie. Ash hated the constant "tick, tick" anyway :).

I have to get them new bedding, but I am going to hang on to their quilts and use them as throw blankets or bedding when family comes since they were not cheap.

I am excited to get painting their room and I have purchased some fun things to make the room look cute.

I finished grading finals this morning, my other class is relatively quiet until Sunday and I have the weekend off from editing, so hopefully I will get started in the next few days.

I will post before and after pics when I am done :). Wish me luck! ~S