I currently have three fissures (two pictured below), that are almost as wide as a pencil. It hurts to sit, walk, move, wear clothes, wipe, use the bathroom and shower. Any type of ointment only irritates the "bugs crawling" feeling and itching.
Despite having these, I still had our Halloween party (although I really wanted to cancel), took the kids trick-or-treating and am doing everything that entails being a mom, wife and working my editing and teaching jobs.
I have not wanted to clean my house, visit teach or get out of bed. Just cry and feel sorry for myself. I hate feeling that way.
Yesterday, due to pain, I cried and felt hopeless. Sometimes, I just want to give up. My quality of life sucks and I can't remember when I was not in pain or uncomfortable.
I wish I could say that the treatment would take my pain away, would cure the itching and stinging, or stop the fissures, but it will only lessen them. That is something though, right?
Here are some photos of my current fissures.
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| Two that are almost connecting on the perineum. |
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| Close-up of upper fissure. You can see how deep and wide it is. The skin around it is damaged as well. All the cream colored skin is from the LS and scar tissue. This is where cancer is a concern. |
No words. I have no words to express my sorrow and concern for you and your condition. I have have no words to tell you how your bravery and honesty about what you go through makes me want to be a better woman, a more patient mother, a stronger person, a more empathetic friend. I pray for a cure for you, I pray for relief, for strength, for patience and for the support you deserve. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a really eye opening post. I am so sorry for your constant pain and discomfort. You do a good job hiding it from the public. You seemed your normal self Wednesday night. I sincerely hope you can get this treatment if it will help you at all. If there is anyway I can help with the fundraiser, please don't be afraid to ask. Love you!
ReplyDeleteAs long as I have known you, you have been able to deal with giants without letting others on to your struggles. You are a strong person, both inside and out. I admire you, I always have. I think it's time for you to receive some much deserved relief. I will do anything I can to help you raise money if you choose to do the treatment.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the pictures breaks my heart for you. It looks so completely painful. And to deal with it day-in, day-out while you strive to do everything else is something that makes you even more extraordinary. I wish that you didn't have to live this way. If there is any chance this could help, then $7k is worth every cent.
Love you!
Sherrie, I appreciate you being willing to share photos. The description itself makes my heart heavy for you...but the photos can really give an extended awareness to the pain you deal with daily. I consider you a friend of mine because of the love you have shown to my sister over the past several years. Thank you for being a wonderful person...all of us together will get you the help you need!
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