Hope

My father is an amazing man. I cannot remember a time in my life that I was not aware my dad was sick. However, he is a great example of a person that accepts his fate and pushes forward. My father was diagnosed with Parkinson's in his thirties and over the years I have watched his health decline. He's has three brain surgeries and numerous struggles with his disease. Yet he has always been an example of a person who would do anything for a friend, complete stranger or loved one-he would literally give you the shirt off his back.

He's always been a hard-worker, can be stubborn at times (okay, most of the time), is quiet but has a great sense of humor and has always believed in and supported me. He has never given in to his disease. He is always fighting and trying to do things that most people take for granted because he wants to be independent. I will never know completely the heartache he has gone through, but I am aware of all the things he's had to give up-driving, a good nights sleep, working, fishing, hobbies and even the ability to get around without falling. Although my dad has never broken down in front of me about his struggles, I'm sure he's had moments of despair and fear. But like my dad, I will not sit and bemoan my disease.

In my darkest hours I sit and think about how I have suffered and will continue to suffer. How at best I will have remissions followed by flare-ups, but it will never be completely cured. However, I have been raised with a dad that taught me how to gracefully go through life with a disease and a mother who despite hearing voices and having a mental disease still endures each and every day. You see, I come from a family of survivors who endure and continue to have hope. I am my father's daughter.

Wallowing in despair drains me from all that is vibrant and joyful in my life. It kills my ambition, pollutes my soul and breaks my heart.  Hope inspires me to trust that I am strong enough to handle my disease and not let it dictate my life. Instead OF having hope for a cure, I have hope IN the faith that despite the pain I am currently in, I know that deep inside no matter how unbearable the pain might be, there are beautiful things all around me (my children, family, friends, nature) and I must endure till the end.

 For me, hope and charity go hand-in-hand. I love doing things for other people-it distracts me from thinking only of myself and my chronic pain and urges me to care for other people without expectation of constant reward. I have been devoted to charity and good works since I was a child-it is weaved into the fabric of my being-it is who. I. am.

If you are suffering with a trial or sickness in your life remember to never give in, never surrender and never allow despair to overcome you.  Press forward, stand on your own and know that tomorrow is a new day. -S