Giving & Christmas

I am so excited for Christmas this year. Why? Because two friends & I surprised a dear friend of mine with gifts today!

This is a person who never has anything to open on Christmas and I wanted to make sure she had a wonderful Christmas and felt special.

As moms, we always put our kids first and make sure the day is special for them. I think that is important, but sometimes you need to feel loved, special and appreciated too. It was so much fun picking things out for her and keeping it a secret for so long.

I had a hard time getting into the spirit of Christmas this year due to being so busy at work and with the health of my dad, but doing this for my friend gave me great joy and reminded me what the true meaning of Christmas is.

We got her many things she "needed," but also some things that we each thought were fun ideas and that we like to have around the house.

I hope you remember to think of others this time of year. Even though our actions may seem small, realize that everything you do for others counts, no matter how large or small. I hope this is a Christmas that she will always remember and know that I hold her dear to my heart. She is one of the strongest, most sincere, honest women I have ever met.

Merry Christmas! Remember as you open gifts this year that joy comes from what we can give, not what we can get. ~S

"If we have the opportunity to be generous with our hearts, ourselves, we have no idea of the depth and breadth of love's reach."
-Margaret Cho

Love

I have been contemplating relationships this past week. Why some last, why some fail. I have a few friends that have gotten divorced and it never ceases to amaze and stun me. I saw this poem the other day on a fellow bloggers site and wanted to share it. Something we all must keep in mind when we enter into a relationship or go through rough times. ~S

 

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

 

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.

-Louis De Bernieres

Sunday

Seven Question Sunday..



1} What Is Your Favorite Christmas Tradition?



Going to the tree farm and cutting down our tree. It is so fun to go pick out the perfect tree, smell the pine and decorate it. Because we get it fresh, we don't have an issue with pine needles and I make my husband spray it for bugs before we take it in the house, which makes it spider free :).

2} What Time Did You Wake-Up This Morning?

6:30!!!! Maddie had a sleepover last night and the kitten woke the girls up (trying to play with them) way to early. Ugh!

3} Any Fun Plans For Today?

I am grading, editing, then taking the kids to Clackamas to my friend's church to see an amazing manger scene (they have about 40 on display) and activities for the kids to do.

4} What Is Your Favorite Christmas Song?

O Holy Night

5} Snow Or Warm Climate For Christmas?

I grew up in Utah, so I actually miss a "White Christmas." I love the snow and wish Oregon had more of it.

6} What Is Your Favorite Christmas Memory As A Child?

Going to Temple Square to see the lights. It always got me in the Christmas spirit.

7} Any Fun Christmas Plans Next Week?

We are going to the Portland International Speedway to see the lights and to the Fantasy Trail as well. A yearly tradition for our family.

~S

The Best Gift of All

Our Tree. We were cracking up when we got home because this one is really odd shaped. It is a "special" tree this year :)

Matt getting it ready to be de-bugged and then later go in the house.

A really unique mushroom that was living under the tree at the tree farm. I think it looks like the top of a hamburger bun :)

Before we cut it down.



....And Now....Meet the newest addition to the Barbee Family......

She likes to be swaddled :)

Sleeps a Ton!

She is about five weeks old and the cutest, sweetest thing you have ever seen.

The Story:
Matt brought home an early gift for the kids and I. He came home from work and said he had something in his backpack for us to open and hoped I would not be mad (hehe). When we first saw her, we were all smitten. Let's just say she is not lacking for attention.

She loves to cuddle, explore the house, put her paw in her food when eating and makes a mess (LOL), is so small even the tiniest collar would not fit her, loves to play and has three names (Oreo, Christmas Kitty and Kitty Cat) because the kids can't decide on one. Even though she is tiny, she is the biggest gift of all.

Merry Christmas!!! ~S

Sweet, Sweet Sunday

Here is what the kids & I are making today...If you hear a knock at your door, you know what it is :)

Baklava

Divinity

A Crazy Amount of Fudge

Happy Holidays! ~S

Christmas Wish List

I don't know about you, but this is one of the first years that my kids don't have something specific they want, so I have NO CLUE what to get them!

Here are some things I want though...LOL.


1} Earrings & New Ring (for fun)
2} Shoes (for work)
3} Clothes (for work)

I basically think I need to shop for myself this year since the thought of my husband picking my clothes/shoes out is scary. Hehe.

What's on your Christmas List? ~S

It's Beginning to Look alot Like Christmas

There is Garland on the peak of the roof, which is why the lights are wavy :)



Front Door



Ornaments on Ceiling :)

Buddy the Elf.  "The Elf on the Shelf." He came to visit us yesterday :)


Tomorrow is Matt's birthday. We are going out to breakfast, then to cut down our Christmas tree. Fun times! ~S

Signing Off

Hi Blog Readers,
I have a ton going on in my life right now. I know I need to take care of myself, but currently, my dad has to be the priority.

Along with cancer, he is battling Parkinson's, the fact that he is not mobile/independent anymore and in the hospital for who knows how long.

I knew from the time I was little, my journey in life would lead me here-making decisions in regards to my dad's health, but I must admit, I pictured myself more mature, more knowledgeable, experienced and more emotionally stable.  But, I don't think anyone is ready for this.  All I can do is take it day by day, talk it out over and over with friends and cry until I can't cry anymore.

My brothers and I have to make some big decisions over the next few weeks which leaves little time for blogging.

Pray we will make the right ones. I will leave you with a quote.

"Every great decision creates ripples--like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforeseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences." --Ben Aaronovitch

See you on the flip side :) Happy Holidays. ~S

Dear Dad

As a child, I remember you building houses, fixing cars, doing endless good deeds for neighbors, friends and complete strangers.  You always spoke in a soft voice, never raised your voice, gave great advice and a listening ear and provided for your whole family. You took me fishing, camping, and always was a good role model for me. I cannot even explain how much you have shaped my life and made me who I am.

I remember running down from my work to meet you when I was 13 and 14 at the U of U to eat lunch with you and hopefully eat some of those yummy treats you had hidden in your desk drawer. I was always so proud of you and would brag endlessly to my friends about you. I always and still do, speak about you with great pride.

Despite all the mistakes I made as a teen, you loved me anyway. I have never questioned whether you were proud or if you loved me. Your actions have always spoken louder than words.

You stood by my mom for all these years despite her mental illness and all the challenges that have come with it. You have taught me that you love despite all the odds and if you stick it through, good things will come. You taught me to work hard, never give up and give someone the shirt off your back if that is what is needed.

You have been through so much: losing your first grandchild, having two kids born with health issues, years and years of suffering with Parkinson's and having to give up the life you once knew.

Know this....You are loved, admired and we are so proud of you. You could not have been a better father, husband, papa or friend to all of those you have encountered. You are the strongest person I know and it breaks my heart and soul to see you suffering so bad.

Be strong. I cannot imagine what it must be like for you to not be able to get up from a sitting position, walk without falling, not be able to grasp objects anymore, drive, fish, talk or do simple things like get dressed. I wish I could trade you places and give you back the life that you deserve. You are so young to be suffering so.

Know that I think of you often, cry for you and hurt for you. You are my father and despite your disease, I still am proud of you and have faith that you can and will endure.

Please stay strong. I know you are in so much pain right now, stuck in a hospital and feel like giving up. But you have four kids that love you, grand kids and many people who are here to help you.  Letting people help you is not being weak or less of a man. You took care of us for years, let us take care of you. You held me up, let me hold you up.

I am so sorry that you are trapped in a body that will not do what you want it to do. I am so sorry that I am not further along in my career so I can help you out more. I wish I could build you a house that would enable you to get some freedom back. Know that we are all trying to figure out how to make your life better and give you joy again.

I know it seems like your trials will never end and your journey has been so very long. Just know you are not alone, we love you more than anything. Hang in there.

Love you Dad. You will never know how much. Your Daughter. ~S

Stress

Stress is ugly. Plain and simple. But, just when I start to relax, more starts creeping up. So here is a very brief blog post about what's up in the Barbee house. Pray for me, I am close to losing it. Literally.

1} My dad went by ambulance to the hospital today. He will be there for a few days. I am heart broken and not sure what to do.

2} My daughter needs some decisions made on her behalf in regards to education and her learning disabilities and I am not sure what to do.

3} It has been almost 1.5 years since I had my LS checked and had a skin cancer biopsy. I know I need to go in, but am not sure I can handle what they will tell me, so....I keep putting it off.

4} Balancing work, volunteering, friends and family is tough. I am taking it day-by-day.

5} I need to make a two year plan in regards to my career path. When Ash starts school, I want to be making A LOT more money and putting my two degrees to better use. That is, have a career I always envisioned. I love my jobs now because they allow me to avoid daycare, but when Ash starts school, I will no longer be content.

6} My husband is not doing well with his health and I don't know what to do.

Trying to work at home with three kids (and sometimes their friends) is so challenging. I am working anywhere from 25-35 hours a week right now (about 10 of that is at the office and Matt watches them). So I have to get creative to be able to spend time with Ash all day, take the boy to after school activities, Maddie to Girl Scouts and play dates and spend time with the husband. It is possible though. But, some weeks are busier than others.

How have I been dealing with all this stress?! Chocolate, coffee, nights out with friends (thanks Michelle and Jennifer!) laughing, crying, senseless TV, and looking forward to all the great things that happen this time of year. I will endure....I have to :) ~S

What's On Your Thanksgiving Table?!

I was shocked to find out that some people only spend about $50 on Thanksgiving dinner when they host. Not this family! I seriously do not know how that is possible.

So What's on Our Table this Thanksgiving?

Appetizers: 
Homemade Cheeseball & Crackers
Pumpkin Spice Cheese Torta & Crackers
Veggie Tray w/ homemade dip
Cream cheese stuffed, bacon wrapped jalapenos (these are Matt's and are to die for!)
Deviled Eggs

Main Course:
Turkey w/ cranberry sauce
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Stuffing
Biscuits and rolls
Frog-eyed fruit salad
Sweet potato, marshmallow, pecan casserole (recipe doubled)
Green bean casserole (recipe doubled)

Dessert:
Pumpkin pie w/ Cool Whip
Apple Pie w/ vanilla ice cream
Tiramisu Cake

Drinks:
Martinelli's
Martini Rossi Asti Spumante
Soda
Wine
Pumpkin Egg Nog

*We are feeding around 16 people, so I have to make double of most stuff. This family likes to have left-overs. Nothing sucks more than cooking all day and not having any left-overs!

Happy Thanksgiving. Count your blessing :) ~S

My Own Desk!!!

Guess What?!! I got my own desk at work!!!

This may seem totally lame for most of you, but for a freelancer, it is fabulous! Before, I would have to come in and use one of two computers that other people used and sometimes, they would be full and I would have to either wait or do something else until they were done. Also, people in the office would walk by and take our supplies off our desk. I know I was not the only one feeling like we were the "odd ones" in the office because we had no place of our own.

My office has laid people off recently which freed up some space, so they did a complete remodel of the work stations and gave me my own desk! I am super excited to have my own space and add a few personal touches like pictures, a plant and so forth. Yeah!!!!! I will take a pic once I get settled and organized.

I am also excited for our work Christmas party. Our office is having it at a restaurant in Portland that I have never been too, but from the menu, seems pretty fancy. Fun, fun!

~S

Thankful

Since it is almost Thanksgiving, I figured I should blog about what I am Thankful for. My disease has been bad lately, so I really want to focus on the positives this month :)

1} My husband. He is the most creative, loving father I could have ever asked for to help me raise our kids. He is a thoughtful, romantic husband who often surprises me with "Just Because" gifts. He is my soul mate and I cannot picture my life without him. Who said 6 weeks of dating followed by marriage would not work out?!!! We are going to Stephanie Inn this December and I cannot wait!

2} My three beautiful children. I adore all of them and am so lucky I have been able to stay home and watch them grow.

3} My family. I was blessed with three brothers who I look up to, am proud of and would not trade for anything. They are all an inspiration to me.

4} My friends. This year, our table will be surrounded by 16 people and I will stuff them silly with yummy food, laughter and great conversation.

5} My home. There are things I would change about my home, but overall, I love it. I have it decorated just the way I want and am content staying it in for a while.

6} My jobs. I am blessed to have two jobs I love. They can get hectic at times (this week I have 160 papers to grade in four days) but I do enjoy what I am doing.

7} Music and literature. They allow me to escape, relax and reflect.

8} Nature. This year, I have been really aware of the beauty of Fall. The colors seem to be more vibrant and Portland has given us many beautiful days.

9} Coffee. Do I really need to explain this one!

10} Costco. This may be funny to you, but I love this store. Recently, I bought a candle warmer, awesome two tier serving dish and collage picture frame.

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and are able to spend it with family and friends. I am thankful for all of you. ~S

October Pics



Sparkle Pumpkins




Spider Infested House




Apple Farm Maze





Pumpkin Patch

 

Costumes (1)

Matt & Ashlin's Pumpkin Guy. Ashlin requested that our house be "more scary" this year.

Costumes (2)

My Girls Always Change at Least Twice for Halloween. I have no Idea Why!

This was the first year that I actually bought the girls costumes that they picked out. Matt told them in the store not to get ones with masks because he knew they would not wear them. They insisted that they had to have masks. They made it to one house with the masks on, then they refused to wear them for the rest of the night. LOL.

Usually, we have enough dress-up stuff around the house they can wear, or friends pass down costumes for my kids. Next year, we will be wearing something from around the house :)  ~S

October Update

We had a great Halloween celebration. We went to the Fantasy Trail, Lake View Farms, a Halloween party and The Apple Farm. I love our Fall traditions. My neighbor also does an amazing haunted house each year and I was so in awe to see how much work they put into it. They even had water and half a pirate ship this year. I love living in a neighborhood that has fabulous spirit around Halloween.

This year was also the first year that we let Jaiden trick-or-treat with a friend and no parents. It went great. He had a cell phone and boundaries of where he could go. I went with friends at his age, so I figured it was time :) Sad to think he only has a few more years.

Matt had over a week off work and it was nice to have him around. Although, I still had to work my two jobs, so nothing much changed for me.

Currently, I am planning a baby shower for a friend, pondering Christmas and getting excited for Thanksgiving. This year, instead of family, we are having a "friends Thanksgiving" like last year, at our house. So far, the head count is 11, possibly 14. We will see. Either way, I am excited.

Some random things: We have lost our Comcast remote, so we have to keep taking it upstairs for that TV, then back downstairs for our other one. Tonight, my son stuck Silly Putty on it. Lord help me. Now I am using a sticky remote. Nice.

Matt had a ton of doctor appointments yesterday. He now has a heart monitor that is not working too well with his vest for work. I am still working on our diet and eating habits to center around a "clean" diet.

I talked to my mom about "past issues" and we had a nice chat. I got everything, well mostly, out. Mother and daughter relationships are complicated. I have not met one person that does not have "mom" issues. I am glad that I was able to grow into my own, unique person despite my past.

Today, I went to dinner with the kids and to a store......with not an ounce of make-up.....and a huge, seriously like the size of a pencil eraser, zit on my face. Gasp!!! I did not care. I am comfortable in my own skin and feel beautiful with or without make-up. Do you ever go anywhere without make-up?

My dad breaks my heart. Every time I see him, he is worse or at least no better. I.Hate.Parkinson's.  He cannot get up from a sitting position, drops things when trying to grasp them and falls constantly. It is so hard for a child to see their parent struggle. I wish I could trade him places and give him back his life.

My mom is haunted by voices. She is thin, fragile and a totally different person than I remember. It is hard to be around her. The constant talking to the voices drives me crazy. With her, I cannot let my walls down because I have no idea of what is going to happen next. She expects me just to accept that the voices are who she is now, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable to be around her when she is whispering or talking to them.

Life is hard. I have learned that is does not get better, but rather more complicated as you get older. There is always a challenge you must overcome, despair you must get past and always heartache that you must deal with. But, in all the hardships of the world, there are too many moments of hope, love and joy that get you past all the ugly things. There is beauty in the world and I am so grateful that I can see it.

I hate my disease, but at least it is not in the open. When I first started this blog, I hated how people could not see the pain I was in-I was alone. But now, I am grateful that mine is a hidden struggle. I don't want people to see my pain, strangers to stop and stare or my family to feel heartache for me, but, I do need to talk and vent to you readers. Thanks for being my silent support system.

~S

Lockers!

Remember how messy our toy/coat closet was? I have wanted a place for a long time that would enable the kids to keep their bike helmet, coats, backpacks, umbrellas and winter gear all organized and not clutter my closet. So, this was our solution. Awesome. They each have one. I.Love.This. Idea.

Oh, and for those who are wondering...yes, that is a Persian rug....from Iran...in our garage. My husband does not allow me to park in there. It is his Man-Space. He textured and painted the walls and did the floor. But that is okay. I have complete domain of the house (in terms of decorating), so I guess I can give him this one room :) ~S

Garage Lockers

More Fun Facts

Things I am obsessing about lately...

1} Pumpkin Spice Eggo Waffles

2} Pumpkin Spice Coffee Creamer

3} Nail Polish (I have been switching out my nail color about every three days!)

4} My husband's version (healthy) of Jalenpeno Poppers
5} My Salt City Candle Warmer (thanks Shannon!)
6} Fall Leaves
7} Getting done Grading Finals!! Yuck!
8} Sweater Cardigans..Love.
9} Halloween

10} Snow Patrol (one of my favorite bands :)

~S

Speechless...Almost

My parents are not coming (they have cancelled four times now), my mom is in the hospital getting a blood transfusion, my dad choked at Costco today and a man shopping had to help him out (that is twice now in a month), I am tired, grading finals and about to head to my other job. Life is stressful. Breathe......

My thoughts today:
I wish my kids had grandparents that were involved in their lives other than mine. My husbands parents are not that involved-my kids are not even sure who they are. Due to MY parents health, my kids get disappointed a lot when they cancel visits. I need to quit telling them that they are coming!

I now know why I expect people to follow through with promises they make. I lack that solid female relationship in a mother, have no sisters, so for me, my girlfriends need to be stable and positive. I am grateful for all of them. Especially because they have proven to me that they will be there when life gets rough.

On a positive note-I sent a message to all my friends asking them to donate some money (to the girls I was a nanny for) after their dad recently shot himself. I was so touched and brought to tears by the love that was shown. For people to give money to a family they don't even know, was so amazing to me. Thank you :)

I also asked friends to donate baby boy clothes for one of my friends that is due in a few months and the response I got was equally impressive. She has boxes of clothes now and should be set for the first year. Thank you Stacia, Laurie & Shawn.

It is wonderful to see people helping each other out despite the economy and the tight financial situations many people are in.

I am exited for this week. Matt's last day of work is Tuesday and then he is off until November 4th. We have many fun things planned. Hope you all have a great week. ~S

Tuesday

Day Two:

Here is the "After" of our closet. It took me ALL day! I had to organize stacks and stacks of pictures, art work from the kids and random junk that needed to be filed. But alas, it is done!!

Matt's Side

My side. Notice how the hubby's clothes take up most of the closet?!
The best part of my side, my summer shoes are all neatly in boxes.

The last few days have been hectic. The kids have been out of school since Wednesday due to parent-teacher conferences, we have been cleaning the house for my parents arrival on Sunday and I have been working.

I start grading finals for my Film class on Sunday and start a Communications class on Monday. I don't prefer classes to overlap, but sometimes, that is just how it works out. We are down to two editors at the office too, which makes for tons of work for me. I went to the office this morning, came home and set up my new class and managed to get some work in while we were at our weekly visit to Kaiser today. I have the rest of the night off though. Yipee!!

Tomorrow, I get to babysit a sweet three-month-old :) Have a great weekend!! ~S

Progress!

 Day 1: Monday


Before: What I started with from under the bed.

After: Nice, right?!

Girls Closet: After-Right side.
See Previous Post if you forgot what it looked like Before :)

Girls Closet-Left side.

Toy/Coat Closet After. Amazingly, it only took me less than 20 minutes too.

        Tomorrow, I tackle the last project....My Bedroom Closet. Yuck! ~S



Perfectly Clean

This is for all of you (you know who you are) that think that my house is never a mess and that I am Perfectly Clean.

In all reality, my house is really clean, other than a few places. I have decided to post pic's (mainly for proof) and I thought it would be fun to do a Before and After. So this week, this is what I will be tackling:

Gasp! This is the Toy/Coat Closet. In all honesty, it will only take about 5 minutes to organize. It is mainly just big stuff.

Under the Girls' Bed. Simply just a mess.

Matt's Side of the Closet.

My Side of the Closet. I am known for throwing my clothes down after I get undressed.

The Girls' Closet (Mainly blankets, random toys and fallen clothes)



I have to work today and I am sick with a cold, so I am planning on starting tomorrow. Wish me luck. Watch for Pictures! ~S

Fall

My favorite things about Fall...

1}  The way the beautiful yellow, orange and red leaves cover sidewalks, mountain sides and my backyard.

2} Halloween parties, apple farms, spooky trails,  hot cider, caramel apples, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin patches and scary movies.

3} Sweaters, scarves, dark nail polish, Halloween and Fall decorations and the hubby's annual week long Halloween vacation.

4} Carving pumpkins, trick-or-treating, cuddling up in warm blankets, turning the fireplace on and doing crafts :)

5} Family, friends, Thanksgiving, pies, scented candles, acorns, and my cheese ball. 

6} The sound of rain, hopes of snow, school vacation (no grading for me!) and baking yummy treats for neighbors.

7} Birthday Parties! My dad, all three of my brothers, friends, FIL and husband. Fun, Fun!

I.Love.Fall.  ~S

Why I Hate LS

Sorry, but I feel like venting...

1} I have been getting little or no sleep due to itching and the bugs crawling feeling.

2} The itching right now is not only at night, but also during the day! Oh joy!

3} I cannot control what I do in my sleep-Meaning, I wake up and discover I have been scratching and must pay the price.

4} My husband thinks parking the truck far away and walking to Costco is a brilliant idea. Maybe for someone NOT in pain.

5} I'm positive that lack of sleep is not helping my disease-something that is completely out of control right now.

6} Again, I feel like I am drowning.

7} I saw a sign the other day at a church that said, "If you had the chance, what would you ask God?"
This is easy, "Why Me?"

I know things could be much worse. I could be blind, dying and so forth, but for me, right now, I am having a hard time. I have discovered that for me, it is okay to break down every few months and feel sorry for myself. After all, there is little or no research going on, it is a rare condition, I know only one other person who has it, and I am very much alone. Being in pain and itching all.the.time SUCKS! Just imagine a yeast infection AND paper cuts the width of a toothpick down there.

8} There is not a day that goes by that I am not reminded of my disease.

9} I HATE LS...

~S

Update

Things have been crazy lately.  I am still volunteering at RMHC on Friday's, I am still managing the Spouse Group, taking J to Lego Robotics on Tuesday & Thursday nights, working two jobs and am now a district supervisor for VT at my church. Whew! My husband works two jobs as well-he simply does he second one for fun though :)

I have been spending more time with Ash as we are the only two home every day until 3.  It has been fun. There is a ton of cuddling going on. I am so grateful for this time that we have.

Work is going good. I am in week two of my Communications Class and am curious what I will be teaching next. Editing is crazy busy, but since I have tons of flexibility to when I go in and how much I work-it is great.

I found out my brother (the one in Dubai) is moving back to the states in February. He will be moving to Chicago, but will come visit my family first. He has lived out of the states for six years and I have only seen him once, and have not seen his family at all. I have never met two of his kids. It will be fun to visit.

My parents are coming for Halloween, which I am excited about. We may go to Seattle when they are here.

Our garage is finally done! All we have to do is the floor now-I will be so glad when it is complete.

Matt is doing better.  He is dropping weight like crazy tho. I am trying to stay positive :)

Fall has been a blast so far. I have made crafts with friends and my house looks very festive! I love this time of year.

And finally....drum roll......after over 30 years of biting my nails...I have stopped and actually have white showing. LOL! Huge accomplishment because I have had to focus my nervous habit elsewhere.

Hope you all are having a great October!! ~S

Smile

Things That Make Me Smile

1}  I went to a Spouse Group Social last night (for the PD) and when I got home (at nearly one in the morning) this is what I found...



Cute little notes from my husband scattered all over the downstairs :)

2} I just got done teaching a Communications class that was very tiring. I had over 57 students and the final was ten pages long! I was so burned out, but the last few days I received many thank you emails from students letting me know how much they appreciated my advice and work-so worth it :)

3}  My six-year-old informed me today as she was getting ready for church that she had the desire to get baptized and she wanted her best friend's dad (Joe) to do it. My whole heart and soul was smiling :)

4}  Our garage is textured and almost painted :)

5}  I just ordered a new duvet cover from Pottery Barn for our bed :)

6}  Having my four-year-old help me make chocolate oatmeal cookies for a neighbor :)

7}  Fall is here.

8}  Having my own paychecks :)

9}  Being able to work from home and avoid daycare :)

10}  Friends & Family :)


~S

A New Challenge

Yesterday my husband informed me that he got diagnosed with a disease (I am not going to mention it here because he has not told many people yet) on Tuesday. We were in Costco shopping and he just broke down. Initially, I was upset that he kept it from me (including the meds) for two days, but I realized he needed to tell me in his own time.

I'm not sure what it is going to be like trying to deal with two diseases (his and mine), but we have gone through many things in our 12 year marriage and this is just another bump in the road.

I am going to an education group with him on Tuesday to find out more and how to handle it. From my research, people feel alone, have depression and have to learn how to cope-all things that I can relate to even though we do not suffer from the same thing.

As a family, we are starting a new eating plan as "clean" foods can help any disease. I am going to remain positive-what else can you do?



"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."   -Carlos Castaneda


~S

Women & Friendship

“Sometimes our light goes out, but is blown again into instant flame by an encounter with another human being.” -Albert Schweitzer

I have wanted to write on this subject many, many times.

Women & Friendships:

Many times in my life I have heard a friend say that at some point in our friendship (or even an encounter) they were threatened by me. I have never understood this.

I firmly believe that God gives us talents to bless and serve others-one of mine happens to be cleaning and organization. What is so threatening to women about that?! I.don't.get.it.

I have only had one friendship dissolve over it-but many friends bring it up constantly. It drives me crazy.

I think that all women have this picture in their head about what the "ideal" or "perfect" woman is and when they see a friend possess an attribute that they don't have or are struggling with, they get threatened. I believe that it has to do with an insecurity in that person that causes them to feel that way.

I have always appreciated my friends' talents and have never been threatened by them. All my friends have unique talents that I highly appreciate-especially when I have no clue how to do most of them or have failed miserably when trying.

I have friends who can sew (I failed at this my first time trying in Home Economics in Junior High). Need a button sewed on? I'm your girl. Need anything else done-don't come knocking on my door unless you want your pant legs sewn together. Mom, you know what I am talking about!

I know that I am good at some things and terrible at others and I accept that fully.  I realize that God makes each person different and gives them unique talents to share with others. If we were all the same, how boring would that be!

I appreciate myself for what I am and that makes me beautiful.

So many of my friends have not let me help them clean their house or feel they have to "prep" for me to come over. Crazy! Insanity! I seriously have no idea where they get this from. I have never told them their house is sick, disgusting or not to my liking. I do not form relationships with people due to their cleanliness, but rather their talents that can enrich my life and make me strive to be a better person.

I am a strong believer in learning from the women in my life. Is does not matter if we are in different chapters in life-we all have something to contribute. Friendships are a necessary source of sustenance and joy. Those who truly know me, know that I would bend over backwards for anyone.  I would be at your house with a hot meal, cleaning supplies or a shoulder to cry on in an instant. I'm not going to be focusing on whether there are clothes on the floor or dust in the corners-but rather you and how I can help. When you are unable to do the daily demands of life, a friend should be there to lighten your load, pick you up and light the way.

I hope all my friends can find that beauty within and learn to appreciate their talents, the talents of others and embrace their sisters for who they are. I would not wish my life (with my disease) on anyone, and I wish people would understand that cleaning is my only outlet (besides music) that lets me unload and reach some sort of calm when I have pain days. Maybe that is why my house is so clean! I have too many pain days :(

~S

Long Time, No Blog

Why hello there! It has been 9 days since I last blogged, but for good reason. So here is a little...okay, LONG update.

• We had to move ALL of our stuff out of the garage, into the backyard, back into the garage, back out of the garage and finally, into the neighbors garage. Why? Because we had a water pipe break weeks ago and we had to fix all the damage. We figured since we had everything out, why not texture and paint the garage! Sounds fun huh? NOT. We have it textured, this week we will be working on painting.
• We had Ashlin's 4th birthday which was a blast. Me and Ash met Matt in Tigard for coffee, met friends at Chucky Cheese, then McDonald's and then a party that evening. She had a great day. Some of the gifts she got were: A pillow pet, bike with training wheels, perfume, lip gloss, lunch box, games and other fun stuff.
• We had our annual BBQ for the police department. We served appetizers, ribs, hot dogs and hamburgers. It was fun, but extremely tiring-the setting up and cleaning up kills me after grilling for hours.
• Jaiden has received three treatments. It is a pain going to Kaiser two times a week and having him take it easy for two hours after due to a lowered immune system...but you do what you have to do.
• I am teaching my third class starting on Tuesday (a film class). So far, I have taught Communications and Writing. I am excited, however, I am starting while grading my COMM class finals. Can you say 57 students, ten page each submissions graded in three days?! I will be exhausted by Wednesday. My editing job has been nuts too. I edited 40 pages today alone. I love it though :)
• I am having two girls nights on Friday and Saturday-I will need it after this week. I am very excited for those!
• Maddie lost her first tooth!!!! It was both shocking (is she really that old?) and exciting as a mother to see her face light up after the tooth fairy came.
• I am excited for fall, Halloween (Matt is taking a week off!) and for my parents to come visit. Jaiden is supposed to be visiting MT that month too.
• My brother might be moving back to the states in February-yeah!
• My other brother landed a show on the OWN network-double yeah!!
• Matt and I will be escaping to the Stephanie Inn soon-Love that place!

I'm waiting to hear what treatment my dad is going to get for his Prostate Cancer. I am praying all goes well. He has fallen twice this last week, once while he was choking. Lord watch over him.

Oh, and I have a killer bladder infection (I am convinced it has to do with all the fissures in that area getting infected).  Get me some cranberry juice-STAT!

Good nite blogging world. This girl has two kids to get up at six! ~S

Kill...Me...Now!!!

Have you ever had a day so bad that you can't quite believe it ever happened? That was me, today.

I woke up, barely got Maddie on the bus in time, went to a meeting, then work. When I got home, Matt was getting ready to take the two girls to a daddy-daughter camp-out with some friends. Totally cute.

I decided since it was just going to be me and Jaiden, to invite his friend to sleep over. We decided to go to Sky High (this really cool trampoline sports place) but Jaiden decided (after informing me he ate too much) to barf all over my stairs. And yes, these are the same stairs that I just had professionally cleaned yesterday! Arggg!

After cleaning up the barf (and determining that he was not indeed sick with a virus) we headed to Sky High. We got almost there and I realized I forgot my wallet! So we drove back home. When we finally got there they would not let the kids play because apparently we needed a release form from his mom (why oh why did I not check the website?!).

We went home so I could take some medicine (at this point I had a migraine) and head over to the roller rink so the kids could skate and I could still salvage this disaster of a night. After we had been there all of five minutes, my son's friend falls, hits his mouth and chips his permanent tooth! Mama mia!!!

After some tears, he got back in the rink and we ended up staying until they closed (ten). I did some editing while they skated and tried to block out the blaring music. LOL. There was a really cool guy who was skating and break dancing tho-so amazing to watch.

The boys had fun and I took them to get a Redbox and candy afterwards. When we got home I burned the popcorn to the point that it almost caught on fire (note to self, do not walk away from a bag of popcorn in the microwave). The whole house was covered in smoke. I made some more, and while the boys got jammies on, I put the movie in the dvd player.

You would think all would go smooth by now, right?! WRONG! The dvd player broke!!!! On the display, it had all these Y's and was acting crazy.  I could not believe my night. Long story short, I got it to work and they are now watching the movie.

I finally ended up having dinner-Captain Crunch. Don't judge me, I was too tired to make a thing.

Now I am going to crawl in bed and hope tomorrow I can laugh at all of this.

I hope you all had a better night than me. I'm sure Matt and the girls had a blast. I can't wait to hear all about it tomorrow :) ~S

Working Girl

Ash Imitating Me Getting Ready for Work :)
She did it all on her own.  Even the lipstick. ~S





A First!

Today was so surreal. I have never had my third child Ashlin, home alone all day with me.  My older daughter Maddie started first grade today and comes home with her older brother at 3:00. That means I have 8 hours alone with Ash. CRAZY! So strange having only one child at home. The house is sooooo quiet.

So this is how my day went...

I woke at 5:45, was dressed (yes, complete with make-up on), made my son breakfast and waited outside at 6:35 for the bus with him. I came in, got my two girls ready, fed them and drove my daughter to school for her first day of 1st grade! (She will ride the bus tomorrow, but she was nervous to meet her teacher the first day, so I drove her).

I got home at 8, played with Ash, worked from home until 11 (My students had two submissions this week which means 120 papers to grade in 3 days) and then met Matt for lunch. It was interesting to see Ashlin interact at McDonald's. She usually follows her sister around and plays, but since she was alone, today she was apprehensive and would not play with anyone. I think it will be hard for her to get used to the fact that Maddie (her best friend/sister) is gone now all day.

After McDonald's, Ashlin had a friend over, then it was homework time (yes, on the first day-my son), then more grading until Matt gets home.

I am hoping to get into a routine where I am dressed and ready for the day by the time the bus comes at 6:35, work in the morning and spend the afternoon with her doing fun stuff.

I realize this is my last year until she starts preschool, last child at home with me and only opportunity to spend quality alone time with her. I'm excited!!

As for working from home, luckily Matt has Wed-Friday off, so I only have Monday and Tuesday to balance working from home with everything else.

Speaking of, I need to go make dinner before the boss gets home!

~S

Life According to Ashlin

As you all know, when your child is 3 they ask a ton of questions and say silly things. Here is what Ashlin said to me today while I was grading and  I thought it was note worthy. Enjoy!

1} Apparently, when I was 98 years old I lit a match-four times. LOL. My child has no idea what age is it seems. That or I look REALLY old! She said that to me after asking if she could light a match and I told her she would have to wait until her dad came home.

2} "Mom, how come I can't jump into a book?"

3} What she wants for her birthday: A clock so she knows what time it is, a bell to wake her up, a pillow pet and a hand that crawls up the wall.

4}  She lost her tooth (her sister has a loose tooth), but it already grew back :)

5}  "Mom, when can  I stay outside until it's dark?"

6} "Mom, when can I get a pocket knife?"

I adore her. ~S

Party!!!

Our Back-To-School Bash

Making going back to school fun, especially after a summer of best friends, activities and sleeping in, is important for me.  I want my kids to look forward to school, not dread it. So each year, I throw a party.

Party Poppers!

The finished product. We made rings too :)

Making magnets to hang school art/work on fridge :)



Our new plaque-A little reminder :)  



 Courtesy of Matt. We always find a reason to have fireworks.

Random neighbor kids showed up. The boy on the end (the one with no shirt) is a sweetheart. LOL.

We had a great time. School starts on Tuesday.

I am excited about....watching Maddie bring home art and assignments that she is proud of, going to school parties, carnivals, concerts, holiday programs and other fun activities and watching my two kids grow, mature and make new friends.

Am I ready to wake up at 6 am?! NO!
Am I worried about how Ashlin will do with her best friend (her sis) gone at school all day long? YES! I will have to have lots of play dates for her-especially if I am going to be working from home.

Happy New School Year Everyone! ~S