40 before 40

1.  Go paragliding. 2.  Buy a sexy dress.  3. Renew my vows.  4.  Write a book. 
5.  Go to Hawaii.  6.  Dance with my husband (in public).  7.  Buy a great pair of high heels. 
8.  Run a 5k.  9.  Buy my husband a nice car.  10.  Have my dad walk me down the isle at my renewal.  11. Go on a girls vacation with my daughters.  12.  Stay in a cabin, with snow, in the winter. 13.  Get a professional family photo. 14.  Take an ethnic cooking class.  15.  Water ski.  16.  Ski. 
17. Buy a wedding dress. 18.  Ride overnight on a train.  19.  Go back East.  20.  Visit the Laura Ingalls Wilder museum.  21. Go to a rodeo.  22. Dress up and go to a symphony. 23. Own a cameo necklace or ring. 24.  Dance in the rain. 25. Have an ugly Christmas sweater party. 26. Get a full body massage. 27. Visit my friends in Utah again. 28.  Lose enough weight to feel confident naked. 29.  Exercise at least 3x a week. 30. Take my kids to Disneyland. 31.  Get my own gun. 32. Learn wine appreciation. 33. Fall asleep in a field or on the beach. 34. Read a book I normally would not be interested in. 35. Have a costume party and actually dress up. 36. Book a flight to a random place and be spontaneous once I get there. 37. Take a dance class. 38. Learn archery. 39. Surprise a friend with a really nice gift. 40. Learn to can food.

Hmmmmm...

I am feeling better and not so down. I had a busy day on Monday with school, preschool, work, Costco and ballet. I bought my first Christmas gift for the girls too (I love to start early).

In the past, I have had two friendships end due to stupid misunderstandings. One was with a situation with my son and his friend and this friendship (the boys and us moms) has been repaired. It is so fun having my son's friend over again :).

The other one was with a friend from HS. I am not sure what the heck happened other than she was upset over a few things (one being when her brother died). It is always hard to know how to help a friend that has such a huge loss. Long story short, I did my best to be there for her, but it was not enough and after she moved, we parted ways.

I went to Utah last summer and got together with my old HS gang (other than the friend I had a falling out with). Over the last few months, we have connected via FB (well, we hit "like" but have never actually had a conversation) and she recently made it known that she is coming to OR in October and wants to get together (with me and a huge group of ladies).

So the question is, do I go?

Being friends with women is tough. I am grateful for the friends that have stuck by me since HS, before I was a mom, when my kids were little and now in this great stage of my life.

I am a firm believer in Forgiveness and reminded my husband of this tonight when I asked his advice on whether I should reconnect with this friend. After all, I want to be an example of forgiveness, especially for my kids. How can I lecture them on friendships if I am not practicing it myself?

Forgiveness forces us to go beyond who we were and enter a place of emotional and spiritual maturity. 

I guess I just answered my question. -S

-S

Little Ballerina

After trying out a tap class and not liking it, little Miss Maddie has chosen ballet.

Today was her first day.

She looked so cute in her leotard, tights and ballet shoes. Each year her studio does a huge production downtown (last year they did Cinderella) and I am looking forward to that.

The studio is right by our house and her best friend is in her class. I am hoping that she catches on easy as she is a perfectionist and really gets stressed out.

Love my girl.

I took dance for years (ballet, tap and tumble) so it is fun to have a daughter do it too. -S

Spark

The problem with finding a potential treatment (not cure) after about 33 years of suffering is realizing that it is so far out of reach. I emailed the doctor that is doing the treatments in Beverly Hills for LS to see what the cost is and if he is willing to do a consult.

Finding that article and doctor was both hopeful and incredibly depressing. While I am over the moon that someone may have found something that may help me, the cost to do it is nothing short of impossible.

Each treatment I would have to pay for airfare, hotel and medical costs. What if it does not work? What if I spend all that money and it only lessens my symptoms for a short while?

I am utterly depressed today. I hate that feeling :(.

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all.  Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach.  Check your road and the nature or your battle.   -Ayn Rand

Hope

I stumbled upon this article tonight. Maybe there is hope. Now if I can just find a way to pay for the air, hotel and all the medical costs :/.

In LS, etiopathogenesis is unknown, and the severe consequences are functional and psychological. Symptoms vary according to the stage of the disease. In the early phase, sclerosis involves the clitoris area; in the advanced phase, it extends to the labia minora, the labia majora, and the fork. The vulva changes shape with subsequent reduction of vulvar introit and painful ulcers appear.

Topical corticosteroids are the standard treatment, but require continuous administration, and associated complications are evident. Surgical therapy consists of vulvectomy, cryosurgery, and laser ablation.¹ However, these procedures add scars to damaged tissues and have high recurrence rates.

The aim of this article is to present a new regenerative approach that removes symptoms and reduces atrophy and sclerosis. This method is based on grafting of adipose-derived stem cells and injection of platelet-rich plasma.

Fifteen female patients with a histologic diagnosis of lichen sclerosus were treated. Age ranged from 27 to 62 years. All patients had previously undergone steroid therapy, without any significant improvement.

A blood sample of 50 ml was drawn from the patient. The blood was centrifuged at 1000 rpm for 6 minutes to obtain platelet-poor plasma. After a second centrifugation (3000 rpm for 12 minutes), a platelet-rich plasma was obtained. Approximately 5 ml of platelet-rich plasma was obtained (centrifuge diameter, 52.5 cm).

After sedation and local infiltration by Klein solution, liposuction was carried out from a donor region with a 3-mm cannula and a 10-ml syringe. The lipoaspirate was washed with saline solution, decanted, and injected through a 14-gauge needle in the damaged area (range, 15 ml fat).
 

Finally, 5 ml of platelet-rich plasma was injected into the same areas in the intradermal-intramucosal, subdermal, and submucosal compartments. Before injection, platelet-rich plasma was added with 0.5 ml of calcium chloride for platelet degranulation. All patients left the hospital a few hours after surgery.

No adverse events were observed in this series of patients. All patients had moderate pain in the treated areas for 10 days after surgery.

Fifteen days after intervention, symptoms improved: itching and burning disappeared within 1 month. Vulvar skin and mucosa appeared more elastic and soft, with a normal color.

Four months after surgery, all patients reported total disappearance of pain and symptoms, and the anatomical features of the vulva were quite normal. All patients regained sexual activity.
 

Patients with severe fibrosis and atrophy underwent the procedure one or two times more, after 3 months, with satisfactory and stable results. Follow-up ranged from 6 to 24 months.

 

An innovative approach for patients affected by lichen sclerosus was described, in which the treatment was aimed at repairing tissue dystrophy. Traditional reconstructive surgery (e.g., grafts, flaps) should have had a high risk of complications. Therefore, a regenerative procedure was performed.

Examples of skin regeneration after radiotherapy damage by lipofilling have been reported.² Moreover, other “regenerative” techniques using platelet-rich plasma in dentistry and maxillofacial and orthopedic surgery are described. Growth factors released by platelets have an important role in inflammation reduction, angiogenesis stimulation, and collagen III synthesis.^3,4 The procedure can be considered effective as therapy for lichen sclerosus disease.

The cost is 5,500 + 1,000 for prp. If the skin tissue is extreme, the cost increases due to added treatments.
 

ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Francesco Casabona, M.D.

Virginia Priano, M.D.

Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery

Valerio Vallerino, M.D.

Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology

Angela Cogliandro, M.D.

Department of Transfusion Unit

Giorgio Lavagnino, M.D.

Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery

Villa Scassi Hospital

Genoa, Italy

Thursday

Currently...

I am having what you may call a flare. Pain, pain and more pain. If I don't want to sit down, you will know why :(.

I am grading 60+ psychology papers :/.

We are planning on going on a date tonight :).

Sad that our friend lost his mom a few months ago, and last night, his dad :(.

Stressed that my parents are stressed over some issues :/.

Hoping we can get a good loan/interest rate for a new truck that Matt may be buying :).

Excited to go out with 3 lovely ladies tomorrow night for pedicures :).

Happy that today is clear and cool outside :).

I am trying not to emotional eat :/.

-S

Tuesday

Bahahahahah!!!!

I have one thing to say.....30 lbs is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  -S

New Blog!

I started a little side business/hobby. Check it out! http://utleydesigns.blogspot.com/

Sunday

Yesterday I went to Home Goods with the hubby and discovered that I spend way more when he is with me. Mainly because he actually encourages me to get stuff for our house. I am the "tight" one in the family when it comes to spending, so it was interesting. My laundry room is now done and I got a cool wreath for the front door, a basket to hold dish cloths for the second pantry and a cool two tier platter for our Halloween Party.

Here is what the second pantry under the stairs ended up looking like.  My husband is amazing. He basically got it done in half-a-day. He had to cut away the wall, move supporting 2 x 4's and add a new supporting beam on the top and more 2 x 4's on each side, move the light switch, wire a second light for the pantry, install a wood floor and do molding around the frame. Love him!

I am finally starting to feel better from this nasty cold and hope to get on the treadmill tonight.  The  5k is 27 days away!

My eating has been great. I am down 24 lbs and my next weigh in is on Wednesday.  I am down a pant size and shirt size too. Still a long way to go, but it is a start :). I should be done dieting by the end of January, so that gives me plenty of time to tone up before my renewal of vows in July.

Life is crazy right now. I go to work after the two older kids go to school, then I make it home in time to pick up J and M, give them a snack and then leave to pick up A. Then it's chores, homework, cleaning, laundry, after school activities, dinner, bath, bedtime and working from home for me until I collapse. Life is good though. I am very blessed. Plus, I like my life a little crazy :).

Wish me luck over the next three days. I have to grade two classes instead of one. That means double the amount of work to balance with my editing and my dissertation editing. Yikes! -Sherrie

My Baby Girl Turns 5

We had a fun three days celebrating Ashlin's 5th birthday.

On Wednesday, we had our family party with cookies, ice cream sandwiches and presents.

Thursday, we went to Sky High Sports with four friends she invited. Jaiden was sick that day with a sore throat, but came and watched.  We had pizza, ice cream and strawberry cupcakes. I put fresh strawberries in the icing and batter. I was told they turned out good (of course I didn't have one!).  Then she opened gifts.

Friday, her preschool celebrated her birthday. She wanted to bring Fruit-by-the-Foot and cheese and crackers for her snack :). We also gave each kid a cute gift bag with some goodies.

She was really excited to turn 5. The night before, she was asking me how much she would grow so we measured her the next morning on our door frame :).  She is already acting more grown-up since starting school. I love the preschool years :).

Some of her favorite gifts were: Lalaloopsy play sets and drawing pad, tattoos you color, her Corolle baby doll and her piggy bank.

I am so lucky to have her in my life. I cannot imagine our family without her. I simply love her to pieces.

At preschool.

Telling her teacher what kind of cake she wants to bake :).

Such a pretty girl.

Ashlin was very funny when inviting people this year. She only wanted "little people" at her party.

The kids loved their initial on each cupcake.

Her first boy Corolle doll.

Playing with her Sock Monkey nesting dolls (similar to Russian dolls).

She decided her presents from us needed some dolls, pots and pans and decorations. LOL.

Helping make birthday sugar cookies.

Ready to open her gifts!

Monday

Today was....well interesting. Without going into detail, here are a few words to describe it: older kids to school, special lunch at McDonald's, Ash to first day of preschool, pick-up kids, flat tire, almost late to get Ash, coughing, coughing, coughing, make dinner, organize girls' closet, clean house, Ash hit teeth against lip=blood, bathe kids, bedtime, tea and relaxation.

I have to give a shout out to the hubby who cleaned the whole house before work yesterday so I could get some rest. I know you are reading this Matt. You better start looking at earrings...I have almost met my first weight goal :).

Some pics:

Guess what I am doing tonight?

Brushing her teeth. She is finally letting me braid her hair at bedtime.

Saying goodbye to her teacher.

Painting.

Sand in the classroom! Fun!

After saying she didn't want to go, she finally gave me a smile on her way out to preschool.

 

 



Sick :(

I got congested a few days ago and now have a full blown sinus infection. I HATE having to mouth breath!

To make matters worse, Matt has to go to court tomorrow (due to a last minute supina).
That means I have to get 7 hours of editing done today and will have to go into the office tonight.
That way, I can take Ash to her first day of preschool tomorrow. Originally, I was going to go to the office early tomorrow morning and be home by the time she went. Hopefully no one will be there tonight. I totally intend on going in with no make-up, my hair pulled up and with yoga pants and a hoodie on :/.

I guess rest is out of the question for tonight. I am hoping that my healthy eating will influence my body to get better quick. Send healing thoughts my way! ~S

Projects

I had a few days off before school started for the kids, so I decided to gut my house.  I essentially cleaned out all closets and improved/changed some rooms. We still have Jaiden's room to do though. His dad has some cool ideas in mind that involve an industrial look using things he will be able to take and use in a garage when he is older. Trust me, it is NOT what you are thinking. I will post some pics when it is done :). I love updating a house, don't you? ~S

Laundry Room
We removed the cheap white wire shelf the builder put in and did this instead.

Other side.
Notice my antique iron on the second shelf? Those are clothes pins in the glass jar.
I still need to get a clock for the wall on the right and an antique washboard for another wall.

My girls room. I was sick of their toys under their bed, so I got this at Costco. We also got them a trundle, so under the bed storage was no longer an option.

New bed & bedding.

Realizations & A Light Bulb Moment

Lately I have been doing a ton of self-reflection. With renewing my vows in July of 2013 and running a 5k in October, I wanted to get healthy. So, I took about a week and really thought about my life and the choices I have been making in regards to my health.

These are my conclusions:

I had to decide if I was an abstainer or a moderator (thanks Shanon!). I have always been thin. That is, until I hit my 20's. Why? Because when I was younger, I was more conscious about what I ate. I was an abstainer. I never ate bagels, donuts or things that were high in calories. The problem is though, when I moved out and could make those choices myself, I ate everything! Thus, why I have gained weight each year and even when I have lost it, have not kept it off.

So instead of going on a quick fix diet or an eating plan where you have to eat certain things to lose weight, I decided to take control and make changes that were practical and would enable me to keep the weight off.

I decided to educate myself about food and how it acts as a fuel in my body and what soda, sugar and processed food does in comparison. Now every time I am hungry, I eat. I do not keep track of calories and I don't stress out about how much I eat or how frequent.

Every time I crave something, I eat it. If I want to go out to dinner, I do. So what is different?

When I go out to eat, I look at the menu and choose something that is healthy.
I pick restaurants that have more healthy choices.
When I want to snack, I choose something healthy.
When I am hungry, I ask myself if I am really hungry or just thirsty.
Every time I put something in my mouth I ask myself if it is a fuel or am I just eating emotionally.
When I want chocolate, I eat it. A small amount that is. Just enough to derive pleasure.

I have taught myself over the last few weeks to be a moderator, not an abstainer. This has been profound. If I abstain from everything, then I will have "cheat" moments followed by guilt. If I moderate, I will teach myself that pleasure is okay in regards to food as long as you know when to stop. This equals a sense of accomplishment :).

What are the results?
I have lost 20lbs in less than a month just from being conscious of my eating.
I also make sure every snack and meal is a source of protein.
My body is thriving off this new lifestyle.
I can live with this new eating plan and enjoy life.
I am not using food as an emotional comfort anymore.
I can go to a birthday party and eat half a cupcake and not feel bad! But know that is all I need to be content.

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ~S

How Do You Get Ready For The First Day Of School?

Decorate and hang up a picture of Ashlin's teachers. :)

Celebration dessert!  (Soy that is. Hehe) 

Dinner @ Laughing Planet

Decorations to welcome kids home on their first day.

Ashlin at her preschool open house.

All my kids were super tired today :). Notice the backpack?

She loved the little toilet and sink.

She was shy at first, but digged all the art projects.

Maddie heading off to school. Notice J?

Jaiden's first day of 6th grade.

New magnets to hang school art.