We had a great Halloween celebration. We went to the Fantasy Trail, Lake View Farms, a Halloween party and The Apple Farm. I love our Fall traditions. My neighbor also does an amazing haunted house each year and I was so in awe to see how much work they put into it. They even had water and half a pirate ship this year. I love living in a neighborhood that has fabulous spirit around Halloween.
This year was also the first year that we let Jaiden trick-or-treat with a friend and no parents. It went great. He had a cell phone and boundaries of where he could go. I went with friends at his age, so I figured it was time :) Sad to think he only has a few more years.
Matt had over a week off work and it was nice to have him around. Although, I still had to work my two jobs, so nothing much changed for me.
Currently, I am planning a baby shower for a friend, pondering Christmas and getting excited for Thanksgiving. This year, instead of family, we are having a "friends Thanksgiving" like last year, at our house. So far, the head count is 11, possibly 14. We will see. Either way, I am excited.
Some random things: We have lost our Comcast remote, so we have to keep taking it upstairs for that TV, then back downstairs for our other one. Tonight, my son stuck Silly Putty on it. Lord help me. Now I am using a sticky remote. Nice.
Matt had a ton of doctor appointments yesterday. He now has a heart monitor that is not working too well with his vest for work. I am still working on our diet and eating habits to center around a "clean" diet.
I talked to my mom about "past issues" and we had a nice chat. I got everything, well mostly, out. Mother and daughter relationships are complicated. I have not met one person that does not have "mom" issues. I am glad that I was able to grow into my own, unique person despite my past.
Today, I went to dinner with the kids and to a store......with not an ounce of make-up.....and a huge, seriously like the size of a pencil eraser, zit on my face. Gasp!!! I did not care. I am comfortable in my own skin and feel beautiful with or without make-up. Do you ever go anywhere without make-up?
My dad breaks my heart. Every time I see him, he is worse or at least no better. I.Hate.Parkinson's. He cannot get up from a sitting position, drops things when trying to grasp them and falls constantly. It is so hard for a child to see their parent struggle. I wish I could trade him places and give him back his life.
My mom is haunted by voices. She is thin, fragile and a totally different person than I remember. It is hard to be around her. The constant talking to the voices drives me crazy. With her, I cannot let my walls down because I have no idea of what is going to happen next. She expects me just to accept that the voices are who she is now, but it makes me extremely uncomfortable to be around her when she is whispering or talking to them.
Life is hard. I have learned that is does not get better, but rather more complicated as you get older. There is always a challenge you must overcome, despair you must get past and always heartache that you must deal with. But, in all the hardships of the world, there are too many moments of hope, love and joy that get you past all the ugly things. There is beauty in the world and I am so grateful that I can see it.
I hate my disease, but at least it is not in the open. When I first started this blog, I hated how people could not see the pain I was in-I was alone. But now, I am grateful that mine is a hidden struggle. I don't want people to see my pain, strangers to stop and stare or my family to feel heartache for me, but, I do need to talk and vent to you readers. Thanks for being my silent support system.
~S
OXOXOX
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