Pain Day

Yesterday was a Pain day for me. Meaning, all I wanted to do was pull on some yoga pants and crawl into bed. But, as most of you know, when raising kids and having other responsibilities more than likely, this is not an option.  My daughter recently broke her clavicle and has been really clumsy lately which does not aid in the healing process. She took a fall outside and landed on her shoulder and tumbled down the stairs today. Needless to say, she has not been a barrel of laughs and has been having crying fits from pain. Totally understandable, unless you have a three year old that cries whenever her big sister does.

                                                            

Yesterday my husband and I were supposed to go on a date. The first one in four months! Gasp! I know. We scheduled an early date at 3- that was before both my girls were crying off and on for hours and frankly, I was having a bad day. My husband and I had been snapping at each other for hours and so I canceled the date. I finally told him that today was a pain day for me and I really needed him to just cut me some slack and let me be grumpy. We decided to go out and I’m glad we did.

If you know me, which most of you do, you know that I am a tough cookie. I am the only daughter out of four kids, was raised to be independent and be a go-getter. I can replace and wire an electrical outlet faster than my husband, am pretty good at shooting a gun, am in charge of hanging the Christmas lights on the house each year (and take them off), go logging with my husband frequently and have painted our whole house. I am a stickler with cleanliness and when my environment is not spick-and-span, I freak out. Blame it on my mother, she ran a tight ship when I was a kid.

I’ve had a lot of responsibility in my life (especially as a young adult) with two parents that were and are ill. I've had to rely on myself a lot and have a hard time trusting and letting people in. But when I do, I am a great, devoted friend who would do just about anything for you. I can count on one hand how many naps I have taken in the last eleven years-not because I don’t like naps, but because I am too high strung. This may be a flaw to some people, but I appreciate that trait and believe it to be the main reason I was so successful in school and am able to juggle many projects in life.

My point is….it is hard for me to tell people when I am having a pain day because I don’t want to appear weak. This is especially hard with my husband. I don’t want to be the wife that constantly complains of an illness. I want to be strong and just suck it up. There is no cure, so why wallow in the pain and feel bad for myself? But about once a month I can’t take it anymore and I just lose it. When this happens, all I want to do is pull the covers over my head and just sleep for days.

So my question to you reader is….how do you motivate yourself to face the day when all you want to do is stay in bed?  If you struggle with some sort of illness how do you express to your loved ones that you are in pain? Do you feel guilty always mentioning it?-S